1. My mother is always nagging me, “You go tanning too much. You’re always at the gym. Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Date guys at the gym. Where’s Libby? Where’s Andrew? Where’s Felicia? Did you eat? Why are you a vegetarian? You’re a freak. Thats why you’re single. Clean your room. Put on make up. Stop dressing like a homeless man. Did you just smoke pot? If you’re high, I’m not feeding you. Fix your hair. Macklemore will never marry you.

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